Aaron Dandrea
Written: August 29, 2004
Published: April 15, 2007
One day, Holmes and I went to Iraq. "Where in Iraq are we going?" I asked him.
"What do you mean, old fellow?" he asked me. "All the cities have demented names."
A random Iraqi suddenly pulled a machine gun and mowed me down.
Holmes began to run towards a mosque. Suddenly he took out a dagger and ran it through his hand, because he saw Professor Moriarty wearing a turban.
Because the men had never seen each other since the early 1900's, they shook hands. The dagger ran through Moriarty's hand too.
The Teletubbies spontaneously materialized, only to be burned at long range by a hundred Islamic priests armed with candles because they didn't have Muslim names.
So Moriarty grabbed a gun and fired six rounds into his skull. Kim Jong Il would have done it himself, but he was busy with the nuclear reactor in his ass. It suddenly had a meltdown.
Sherlock Holmes then noticed Saddam standing on top of a can of salsa. As Kim Jong Il flew into the air, the can imploded and exploded at the same time that the ground vaporized.As Saddam's head was level to where the ground had been, the can exploded. The ground returned, and Saddam's pubic hairs were crushed. Yes, every last one of them.
And so this story has a happy ending.