Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Aaronometric Constant

Lesson I: What is the Aaronometric Constant?

The Aaronometric Constant represents the sum of your mom divided by your face. This is the symbol:

The Aaronometric Constant is central to Aaronometry. In fact, as you will learn in the next lesson, Aaronometry was built around the Aaronometric Constant.

Lesson II: How the Aaronometric Constant was Discovered

On 20 September 2006, five students were attempting to solve a physics problem:

Given

v₁ = 1.75 m/s (initial velocity)

a = -0.20 m/s² (acceleration)

t₁ = 0s (initial time)

v_f = 0 m/s (final velocity)

The task was to solve for t_f, the final time. The process which followed looked like this:

v_f = v_i + at

0 = 1.75 + (-0.20)t

t = 1.75 - 0.2

0 = 1.5

Now you notice there are several mistakes. This is because the student doing the problem at the time, Aaron Dandrea, was being given conflicting step-by-step instructions from both Edward Brumit and Logan Bachmann while an intentional effort at ruining his concentration was underway by Nick Elko and Brandon Lemon.

We of course know that you can't subtract t from both sides of the second line and end up with a positive t. In addition, 1.75-0.2=1.55, not 1.5.

However, nobody understood exactly where 1.5 came from, despite its being the key to the correct answer:

0 = 1.5t

⁰/_1.5 = t

t_f = 0

From this problem, the Aaronometric Constant () was created as:

= 0, 1.5

Therefore, is equal to both zero and one and one-half.

Lesson III: Fun with the Aaronometric Constant

Using the Aaronometric Constant is easy.

EXAMPLE 5.31 - Just How Easy the Aaronometric Constant Is

	STEP 1: Write the problem.
17 + 0 = x 17 + 1.5 = x	STEP 2: Given the double value of the Aaronometric Constant, two separate answers will result.
x = 17 x = 18.5	That's it foo

Let's try another one.

EXAMPLE 5.32 - Just How Easy the Aaronometric Constant Is Pt. 2

x =	STEP 1: Write the problem.
	STEP 2: Since n is less than happy, hat is equal to n/2, which is 1.5.
x = (200,000,000,000 + 1.5) -	STEP 3: Write out the numbers.
x = 200,000,000,001.5 - 0 x = 200,000,000,001.5 - 1.5	STEP 4: Split into the two values for x.
x = 200,000,000,001.5 x = 200,000,000,000	It's so easy my brain is decaying due to nonuse!

As it is painfully clear to see, using the Aaronometric Constant is easy. But can you handle ... THE QUIZ?!?

I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But try anyway.